update alpine ascent and friends (#10320)

This adds a lot of fixes and updates for alpine ascent and its dependencies:

* add support for static (via ~shared) and use vtk-m 1.2
* update vtkh package to output cmake configure file and pinning it to vtkm 1.2
* make conduit respect ~python
* fix ascent python logic
* consistant cmake usage
* conditionally add tbb in ascent if vtkh
* enable openmp
* more robust handling of variants
* update ascent and conduit for static builds
* add optional support for mfem in ascent
* enable mfem conduit support for ascent
* add optional adios dep to conduit
* remove ver req from conduit
* ascent: remove confusing comment
* tweaks to conduit and ascent pkg recipes
* fix typo in conduit package
* pref conduit master
* changing mfem to depend on conduit@master to get updated relay
* restore use of conduit 0.3.1 or greater for mfem
* set master as preferred conduit version
* allow mfem to use conduit master
* adding rover package and editing ascent
* updating vtkm cmake dep
* guard ascent python support on +shared
* removing rover to simply ascent package
* add fortran variant to conduit, to allow us to turn off conduit support even when a fortran compiler is specified
* fix fortran compiler check so it can work on cray systems
* working towards cuda fix for vtkm lagrange filter
* update ascent package with more variants, and patch to avoid nvcc issue
* hdf5 flags fix for BGQ
* add post install test
* add testing to ascent
* add testing of the using-with-make example
* add ctest output on error for run_tests