STRUMPACK: added v4.0.0 (#18159)

- add cuda variant, enabled by default, but conflicting with
  strumpack@:3.9.999
- add zfp variant, enabled by default, but conflicting with
  strumpack@:3.9.999
- update minimum CMake version to 3.11
- for version 4.0.0:, do not use mpi wrappers. v4.0.0 uses CMake
  MPI targets
- for version 4.0.0, add dependency on butterflypack@1.2.0:
- remove versions 3.1.0 and older
- make parmetis variant True by default
- add TODO for slate variant (spack package not ready yet)